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A Reminder » Blogging AS an Aspie
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Matt has Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and is writing this blog so that people can gain more of an insight into how people with the condition process thoughts, feel emotions, react to situations and generally handle life.
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19 Mar 08 A Reminder

This week I have been continually reminded of what it is like to be a typical college student. That is, living at home with my parents, not being surrounded by other Aspies 24/7, and having the proper chance to do my homework and things.

It’s given me the opportunity to think about social issues at a pace I can handle, rather than trying to do it all in about 10 minutes. Of course, having so much time on my hands means that I have been over-analysing things; as an example today, I saw two of my friends from a distance on their way home, they were standing close together and looking at each other, after way too much analysis my mind decided it was perfectly, logically conceivable they were seeing each other and went to her house for some nookie over lunch. Ch’yeah, right, add some reality into that, and I know it’s nothing like that!

But in general, I’ve had a quiet undisturbed place (my room / my Mum’s office) to relax, open my laptop, and get on with my homework. At 7pm, straight after my tea. Trying to do that at halls is impossible, it’s expected that I take part in a social activity at 7:30pm each night! I’m sick of arguing that it isn’t normal to be out socialising every night, certainly not going to the same place about once a week; my experience is that my college mates might see their partners 2 or 3 nights a week. Maybe once a week go out getting drunk with their mates (not always at parties, think walking across fields, or going to gigs (basically no one type of activity more than twice per month). But whatever, they aren’t in the pub once a week, bowling once a week and at the cinema once a week without fail!

Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to communicate in a way typical to a student. It’s not that I don’t; I can remember a very personal conversation with one of my college friends via mobile phone one night last November. But MSN messenger, it’s too often I’m reminded indirectly that my friends are talking on it. I’m not, the rather annoying hall of residence has done a number of things to stop it; they only allow us into the IT suite before 9pm, they banned it from the PCs, and they don’t let us have the internet in our rooms; despite some people recently purchasing USB 3G modems… Although I don’t have the internet in my room, I at least have access to MSN over the holidays, which is better than nothing! Having MSN gives me the chance to keep in touch with my old school mates. There’s one I like a lot, and she has great advice for me, but we only really talk over MSN. I just wish I had the balls to ask her for her number.

For some reason, that sounds all-too-similar to not having the balls to ask somebody I fancy for a coffee. Saying that, being at home (and thus needing weekly bus tickets) means that I can go into Newcastle when I feel like it. Therefore I have more confidence in saying “Fancying coming into town with me at the weekend”. I should, I can, but I won’t because I fear rejection; ah, teenage-male syndrome! I could, in theory, meet anybody I like anywhere I can get to on a bus. I usually do meet a few people in Newcastle over the holidays.

Now a thought to leave myself with: one of my (male) mates is having a sleepover for his 18th birthday. Thus equalling lots of alcohol, oh and a normal social situation for people my age. If I was based at home, and my Mum was fully & continually apprised of what’s been going on at college, I know that I’d be able to go. However, I’m with the service provider, so I don’t know whether I will be allowed to go…

Reader's Comments

  1.    

    msn is great.
    especially for avoiding work.

    here is some good advice i stole from someone else;
    (although its easier said than done!)

    Never be afraid of rejection
    If you want to say you like someone
    Make sure it’s said
    Everyone wants to know they’re liked
    Even if they don’t feel the same
    They’ll appreciate the sentiment

    Reply to this comment
  2.    

    It’s very good advice, and I’ve probably gave similar myself. No doubt I’d give it to the person I like if she ever needed it; regardless of the fact I’d know deep down what it meant.
    Whilst I like her, and fancy her, yadda, yadda; I care about her quite a lot too. But then, that’s just me!

    Trouble is, she’s quite special to me – not many lasses put up with me if I fancy them. So the fact she’s a good friend to me means that I don’t want to do anything to jeopardise that. Regardless of what ever else I may want to ask!

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