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Meeting people online » Blogging AS an Aspie
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Matt has Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and is writing this blog so that people can gain more of an insight into how people with the condition process thoughts, feel emotions, react to situations and generally handle life.
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23 Mar 08 Meeting people online

Disclaimer: I do not condone any vulnerable person meeting anybody they know solely over the internet, unless it is supported by an appropriate adult and in a public place.

Disclaimer aside, I have been fairly stupid in that respect, and not just the once! Firstly, I’d known somebody on MSN for a number of years, I’d never met her, and she was 2 years younger than me, so I can appreciate what everybody said to me about it. But, I thought it would be alright, I knew a friend of hers through a drama group for Aspies. So, I set out to meet her in Newcastle, in one of the most public and easily escaped places I could think of – Central Station. We met, and spent the day together, and it all went well if I’m honest.

This weekend, I’ve been a total idiot on the matter. I know somebody on Facebook, who I got in touch with via the “HOTorNOT” system. I’ve been talking to her for about 9 months, and I like her, she’s really fun and friendly. She doesn’t particularly live anywhere near any of the three places I live, but where she lives is between two of them, and it’s close to a mate’s house.

So, with the “prized prat award” now almost certainly in my hands, I decided to ensure it would be mine. I only went and asked to meet her. And then tried to logically reason out why we should meet. And ended up making her cry, and rather annoyed at me. Not what I wanted. In one fell swoop I’d managed to both ruin 9 months of fun flirty online friendship and rule out any chance of us ever meeting. To make matters worse, I rang her (to apologise) when she had asked me not to ring. So bang went the respect and trust, too!

So, upon reflection, I was a stupid idiot, and shouldn’t have asked her. In the end, I felt rather crap because of it; almost wanting to cry.

My advice, don’t even think about meeting people you don’t live near. For those you do, and get on well with, and have spoken to on the phone, and have been able to verify as much as possible about them: only meet them in a very public place, and accompanied by a responsible appropriate adult!

Reader's Comments

  1.    

    Don’t really see why suggesting to meet a friend would make this an upsetting topic?

    Can you?

    Reply to this comment
    •    

      True enough, Cal. It shouldn’t.

      As we’re talking more than 6 months ago, I can’t remember everything that was said, but:
      I asked her, and she didn’t say no, but didn’t say yes either. I then rang her, and we talked, but she got upset, said no, and hung up.

      Naturally, I tried to ring back in order to apologise to her, but she wouldn’t even answer the phone.

      Maybe it upset her because she has had a bad experience meeting somebody from facebook in her past?

      Reply to this comment
  2.    

    maybe i mis under stood the situation. but how i read it ,it was not the fact that u tried to meet up with some one that was not totaly local that caused the problem. people form long distance real life friendshiprs all the time – u just get the issue that is harder to meet up often.

    i may have missed something importaint tho, in your description.appoligies if this is so

    Reply to this comment

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