I resat 2 AS Chemistry modules, and each module went up by 1 mark – and, happily, each module went up by an entire grade. Unfortunately, that didn’t help my overall grade, which stayed at a C. My A2 Chemistry module, Chains Rings& Spectroscopy, was graded a C, so I’ve already handed my resit form.
At this particular moment in time, I need another 213 marks to get an overall A, from a possible 210, so some marks need to come from somewhere…

I also took an AS Mathematics module, Core 1, and got 71%, which is a B. I’m happy with that, it’s only 9 marks dropped from an A, which I hope to pickup from the next two exams in May/June – Core 2 and Stats 1.

So, I’m on track to do Biomedical Sciences, and I can easily make the offer, but I want more, if you know what I mean…

Anyways, this student doesn’t react initially, but a lovely female support worker then informs me that “You shouldn’t hit other students,” and I explained that wasn’t hitting, it was a light slap across his head, with no force involved. She repeated her information, and then the student started to join in – except he wasn’t quite so friendly, “F**k off out of this f**king room!”

Then, the lovely staff member advises me to leave. I ignore her, because I don’t make a habit of following staff direction when they basically repeat what a student has told me to do. I get about three more requests out of the pair of them, before the student threatens me, “F**k off out of this room, or I’ll f**king drag you out!” I move into the middle of the room, where there is space to defend myself, but before I have a chance to prepare for a block, the staff member has put herself in the way, and the student assaults her as she blocks him.

Then, I’m told that I must see the College Co-Ordinator before I leave – but as I’m pressed for time, I give her 60 seconds, and tell her to ring me for any information, or if there are any developments. Next thing I hear is my Mum ringing me at 1pm, to tell me that the service provider has rang my step-dad (at work) to tell him that there has been an incident and that there will be a meeting. I then rings the college co-ordinators office to find out who rang my parents, and why they didn’t inform me – both of them denied ringing them…

After a day out at GFE College, I went back to be informed that I’m now about to walk into a Stage 5 Disciplinary meeting (the highest it can go without involving an external agency), and immediately request time with my advocate. My advocate then refuses to read my statement of events, and tells me that she is there solely to check I understand what is being said. During this meeting I’m told that I’m suspended from the service provider, and that

Back on Monday 12^th May, I had my AS Chemistry practical examination. As predicted, this involved a titration of sorts, starting off with mixing a homogenous solution of acid. Nothing new there then, it’s the ‘bread and butter’ of secondary school chemistry lessons. One would like to say “impossible to fail”, however, I had somehow lost the better of my senses, and managed to screw it up. What’s worse is that I actually knew I screwed up; because I’ve done similar practicals, and know many different methods of calculating things like basicity, molar mass, percentage composition, and so on.

At this point, I should possible I’d spend most of Saturday at a party, getting rather drunk, so it can’t have done wonders for my brain cells…

The mixing of the homogenous solution was easy; I recorded the masses, calculated concentrations, and so on. I wrote up my table perfectly, and noted the data for the alkali. I carried out some very accurate titrations, and obtained a correct, accurate mean titre. I then set forth on the analysing steps, following the prescribed method to calculate the basicity of the acid. And then, I got the wrong answer, in fact my answer wasn’t even on the paper, so I had to pick the best of the bunch. But, because I’d noted the correct data into the tabulations at the start, I knew the answer I was looking at had to be wrong.

So, I went through, three more times, and still got the wrong answer. What could I do, apart from look at it in sheer frustration?

Now, I’ll explain this from an Aspie’s perspective, highlighting extra causes of stress.

Firstly, the examination was conducted in an unfamiliar laboratory (change one), with new equipment having been bought for the exam (change two). Then there were some unfamiliar invigilators (change three), and a technician the class had never spoken to (change four) aside from when he’d shouted at us some mumbo-jumbo about the costs of breaking equipment! Oh, and not being able to talk to your mates increases the stress factor too!

Also, not being able to use your own method for things (ie having examiners break the paper into separate calculation stages) may confuse people, or else cause them to get the wrong answers…

But why am I in this state? Why do I always get myself in a state where I want to cry because of the arguments?

This time, it’s about meeting my friend, to help her revise. For some reason, I had it in my head that my Mum would be reasonable, and let me go and meet my friend to help her. But no, I was wrong. I told her after I got back from Newcastle that I had met this friend; the usual lecture began, an exact copy of what the service provider has been over-exaggerating. I was, as usual, reminded of the risks, that there is a strong possibility I could make my friend feel scared in my presence, that I could do something socially/sexually inappropriate, that I could ‘not conform to the unwritten rules of society’, or that my friend could accuse me of something. That last comment leads to the usual reminders, I could be branded a “rapist”, or a “paedophile”, that I could have allegations show up on a CRB, which would ruin my career ambition.

I was finding it difficult enough to trust the management of the service provider; considering I now no longer genuinely believe that I have a chance of a reasonable outcome when I ask for things to be considered. For my Mum to be taking the same approach really upsets me; I do not wish to not trust my Mum.

I text my friend after this argument, and she replied:

Wel I KNOW tht u wudnt do anything like that. and they shud too! [...] bt if its best then il just revise by myself, then u wnt hav ths shit

This made me happier. As far as I’m concerned, it proves one thing, that I can cope, and that I can cope quite well. All that matters to me is that she is ok with things. My main problem is that I’m in a ‘catch-22′ situation, I can’t prove I can cope being with her independently without going against my Mum’s wishes or service provider’s orders and thus getting myself into trouble.

I told my friend that I enjoy spending time with her, that the revision is something fun, worthwhile and sensible. I told her my feelings on what the adults around me are doing; that they are refusing to believe me (or listen in some cases), that I’m not going to let it bother me, and that it’s basically just crap what they’re doing.

Being a fair and reasonable bloke, he ensured that I would be given the opportunity to attend this meeting and voice my own opinions and arguments. Naturally, when senior staff get together, my opinion is considered irrelevant, although it is normally listened to. This time, I was called into the meeting to be told that they had made some decisions. Before I’d even sat down, I was already extremely angry with my manager, the deputy principal, the college manager and the psychologist.

They told me that they could not support me meeting my friend in town because she was only 15. I interrupted, saying that I’d known her for 3 years, we get on well, she is comfortable with everything, and that I am aware of what I’m doing. I tried asking if she could come to the hall of residence, and I could see her in a communal area with staff present. Or not, as the management pointed out the obvious child protection implications of having a 15 year old female unknown to the service in the presence of a male support worker in their building.

So, to deter me from meeting her in town, they then went on to point out the legal implications. What if she accused me of sexual assault, sexual harassment, or even rape? Because, as they pointed out, raping a 15 year old would make me a paedophile. That, and being on the sex offenders register would mean I couldn’t follow my career ambition of being a doctor (doesn’t this sound so familiar?). Then they went on to ask if her mother knew she had met me, and how old I was.

I was infuriated, because I do not wish to have sexual relations with my friend. I want to help her through her exams, and spend time with her. As far as I am concerned, I’m doing what most teenage friends are doing right now – helping each other revise for upcoming exams and spending time with each other.

Basically, the only reason they have as to why I can’t be allowed to meet her is that she is a 15 year old female. That, to me, is not a reason in itself.
And do you think it will stop me – no!

She was struggling with chemistry, and I’m fairly good at the subject. It was good fortune that I done my GCSE with the same exam board she is under. However, I discovered I spent a lot of the time trying to read up on what I was supposed to be helping her with, because it’s been 2 years since I touched GCSE chemisty. A good tip to those helping others to revise is to go and download the specification and have a good thorough read, it really is a damn useful thing to be doing!

Now then, so far, can anybody see a problem with what I have done? Personally, I can’t. I went to help a friend, as a sort of revision tutor (albeit without any teaching or training qualifications), and therefore I acted professionally all the time I was tutoring her. Now, I’m an 18 year old young man. My friend happens to be in Year 11 at the local catholic girls school, and is currently 15. Before you all gasp, stop, and think, what actually is wrong with a 15 year old and an 18 year old being friends?

This brings me onto the lovely complicated issues that the service provider where I live has decided to throw in. Shock, horror, gasp, panic – she’s 15! Big wow, I’ve known her since she was 12, I was 15. What’s more is that I’ve known her as a friend, a colleague, and as a young person when I was a kind of senior cadet. And in all that time, I’ve never kissed her, or done anything like that. I might well fancy her, but that’s it. But, I know full well what management would say: NO. Therefore, I have no choice but to meet her without telling the service provider that I am. Because I like her as a friend, and want to help her. What’s the use in having a scientific brain if I ain’t gonna use it to help people?

I’ve already met her twice without telling them, and I plan to meet her at least twice more in the next two weeks. And frankly, I cannot see a single problem!

Now, socially, I will admit to becoming a little inappropriate after we left the library and waited for my train, she was scared I would kiss her. I can understand that, but I reassured her I wouldn’t even try, and she trusted me on that. I also took it a bit too far with hugging her, and flirting. Since then, I’ve apologised to her, and I’ve promised I won’t flirt, or try anything, or kiss her, etc. She is happy with that. What’s the betting the service provider isn’t…

The changes begin on Monday, after my Physics exam. I was expecting a nice long three hour lunch, maybe a walk into Newcastle to grab a bite to eat, but otherwise chilling out on my laptop in sector college before my next lecture. No sooner do I go downstairs than I have my support worker informing me I’m going back to the specialist college for about 30 minutes where I can eat my lunch, before being taken back to sector college for my lecture. Marvellous. No chillout time on the internet for me. Did it bother me? Not at all, I’d downloaded my emails earlier in the day, and I had a book to read.

The next change came on Tuesday. I had already been notified of it; well, I had the new plan thrust upon me when I wasn’t supposed to be in the specialist college on the middle of Monday. We were meant to be going for a walk to Teesdale, but due to the snow, and one of the tutors being snowed in at home, we didn’t. Instead, I had an extremely chilled out morning, because the only other student in the session was out at a committee meeting. So after spending 30 minutes planning a couple of routes, I spent the rest of the morning looking into support provided at different universities. In the afternoon, we went out to collect some donations for our fundraising activities.

The changes continued on Wednesday, with Physics being cancelled due to lack of students. Another exam was on, and the majority of students were taking it. Then, I went down to Chemistry after spending some time on my laptop, only to find a room change. After waiting at that room for 15 minutes with a couple of my friends, the lecturer failed to show up, so we went back to the specialist college earlier!

Thursday was even more changes. I slept in, and when I heard the knock on my door, I assumed a bollocking was about to be given; instead, I was informed of an evacuation of the specialist college due to a gas leak, so we all had the day off. Then I went in for a quick chemistry lesson, which was followed by two physics lectures being cancelled because all but four of the students were in a general studies exam!

Thursday night was no better. It was my birthday meal out, and it was arranged so that my keyworker and another member of staff would be accompanying me and my 4 friends, travelling via public transport. Then, one of my friends dropped out. Next, my keyworker was allocated to the overnight assessment student. Then, my manager was the one taking us via the college vehicle. Finally, I was asked to invite the overnight assessment student to my meal.

Friday was the only day this week that went without change…

I felt that I coped very well with all of the changes, and they did not affect my mood or behaviour for any of the week. Oh well, damn stereotypes!