Warning: Declaration of googlechrome_walker::start_el(&$output, $item, $depth, $args) should be compatible with Walker_Nav_Menu::start_el(&$output, $item, $depth = 0, $args = Array, $id = 0) in /homepages/26/d132669229/htdocs/blog-it/aspie/wp-content/themes/gchrome/functions.php on line 12
stress » Blogging AS an Aspie
msgbartop
Matt has Asperger’s Syndrome (AS), an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and is writing this blog so that people can gain more of an insight into how people with the condition process thoughts, feel emotions, react to situations and generally handle life.
msgbarbottom

05 Feb 08 Dr. Ruth Winters

I’m quite a fan of BBC One’s Casualty, and was rather saddened by Saturday’s episode, which saw Ruth hang herself in her room because she couldn’t cope with life’s many pressures. Ruth was an excellent F2 in the eyes of many people, medically speaking her knowledge and commitment to healthcare was second to none. Although quite obviously lacking in the social arena, I noticed quite early in the series that this was a choice she had made; she was there to work, not to socialise.

However, there were also many times during the series where I detected what you may call “Aspie traits”, that is an apparent non-willingness to socialise, to be narrowly focussed on an obsessional interest and other such things. At the same time, I wanted to scream (particularly to Abs, the mental health liaison senior staff nurse) for somebody to notice what this girl was putting herself through. Personally speaking, I know what putting yourself through too much can do, but I also think that Ruth was damn good at hiding how much pressure she was under.

Perhaps it is because I am an Aspie that I can spot traits in others so well, compared to a neurotypical. For instance, most people passed off Ruth’s keenness to research as enthusiasm, I saw it as a sign of becoming obessional, and queried the likelihood of obsessional compulsive disorder. Not going out for drinks after work was seen as Ruth imitating Connie, and becoming a mini ‘Ice Queen’, I realised it was due to a lack of social confidence, a low self-esteem, masked by a thick layer of control and non-emotion – the very traits that can be so easily spotted in a specialist college environment such as the one I currently attend.

The next episode

Since seeing the episode on 9th February, I have this to add: Well done to Dominic (Dr. Doom) for noticing what is wrong with her, and for confronting the issue. That to me is the best way to tackle it. However, he gave up far to easily; yes it would have been wrong for him to kiss her, but under the circumstances he could have hugged her, and calmly talked to her. If he’d tried a little harder, he may have discovered the underlying reasons as to why her confidence is so low.

Well done to Harry Harper for reading her diary, and correctly proportioning the blame onto the ED. I sincerely hope he does make the diary public next week, as it will be an education to all involved in such stressing and emotive professions as to how apparent confidence is often used as a mask to hide low levels of self-esteem.

A final, rather cynical thought: Ruth’s first though upon coming round will be “I’m such a crap doctor I can’t even get my own suicide right!”